Saturday, November 24, 2007
The Amazon Kindle
So I stumbled across this somehow while I was on amazon searching for some new books to pick up. The concept seems interesting enough, but I just can't see myself using something like this to read a book or a newspaper. I prefer having the actual book in my hand, I guess that's the same reason people still buy cd's to have the actual product. But who knows where this will lead or how it will turn out. So far I think it's a horrible looking device, but it's a nice concept...just does not appeal to me.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Early Hitman Review "The Only Thing HITMAN Whacks Is Off"
I actually wasted time & money on this movie and instead of writing my own review, I found one that pretty much summed it up for me.
"Hola all. Massawyrm here.
What a goddamned waste of time and talent. If there is one movie this season that it is paramount that you miss, it is Hitman. There's nothing here, nothing at all. This is what happens when someone sits down to adapt a video game to film and forgets that part of the adaptation process involves, you know, adapting it so that it makes sense in its new context. But there's none of that here.
First of all, I love Timothy Olyphant. The guy's awesome. He can be funny, intimidating, lovable or throw all of that into the wind and play the worlds sleaziest super-douche. But he's not a total badass. That ain't him. You want the nice guy? You want the pissed off guy next door? Sure, he can do those things. He can be gruff enough to pull off Kurt Russell, or assholish enough to pull off Tom Cruise at his best. He is NOT Vin Diesel. When he walks onto the screen here you don't think what a badass. You think he's cancer patient with a good tailor.
Then we get into the realm of what were they thinking in which you begin asking yourself questions like: what kind of supersecret organization puts its logo on every fu*king thing they give to their untraceable supersecret assassin? and What kind of untraceable supersecret assassin is clearly the most noticeable person in the room? and finally what kind of untraceable, supersecret assassin has a GIANT fu*kING TATTOO on the back of his skull for easy identification? Look, that bazzzzz might work in the video games, but I kept wanting to run Timothy Olyphant's skull across a Wal-Mart scanner to see if he rang up the Hitman video game or a box of Massingil from aisle seven.
And why was I asking myself all of these questions? Well, I had to do something while I was sitting there. It's not like the plot was giving me anything to think about. Gee, an assassin hired to kill the Russian President gets double crossed and is on the run trying to solve the mystery while every other assassin on the planet is out to kill him. Holy-originality Batman! I almost don't remember that plot from 10 years ago when the Wachowskis wrote it – or the two dozen other movies that did it better, smarter and long before they did. This is written to entertain your average 13 year old, but has a rating that will insure they have to pay for Enchanted first before they sneak into this.
Although if this film has one saving grace, it is that it is not only rated R, but VERY rated R. There's plenty of blood, a few halfway decent kills and a hot Russian prostitute that keeps getting butt ass naked every few minutes while trying to fu*k Timothy Olyphant. But without anything else going on, this seems to portray the very worst of the stereotypical, smutty, cheap thrills action movie.
Remember how base, simple and brainless xXx was? But remember how they pulled it off because it was over the top, funny and never for one moment took itself too seriously? Well, this felt like the emo little brother of that movie – the one that wanted so bad to be its big brother, but took itself WAY too fu*king seriously on the path to doing it. This movie never tries to be a dumb, fun action movie. It genuinely thinks it's a cool, sleek action extravaganza. Instead, it's just another retread of the ground Ecks Vs Sever covered several years ago. But at least Ecks Vs Sever looked good when you turned off the volume.
Irredeemable lazy tripe. If I didn't know better, I would have guessed that this was written DURING the WGA strike, and not long before it. If there's one good thing that will come out of the strike, it is that the guys who penned this piece of rancid garbage will have been kept away from a keyboard for at least a few weeks. Highly recommended for 13 year olds who aren't quite smart enough to figure out how to see boobies on the internet but are smart enough to sneak into a movie, and NO ONE ELSE. Really, unless shiny objects are a real passion in your life, this will rob you of a few precious brain cells too many."
Source: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/34866
All in all it's a movie I say everyone should skip, it isn't even worth a bootleg.
"Hola all. Massawyrm here.
What a goddamned waste of time and talent. If there is one movie this season that it is paramount that you miss, it is Hitman. There's nothing here, nothing at all. This is what happens when someone sits down to adapt a video game to film and forgets that part of the adaptation process involves, you know, adapting it so that it makes sense in its new context. But there's none of that here.
First of all, I love Timothy Olyphant. The guy's awesome. He can be funny, intimidating, lovable or throw all of that into the wind and play the worlds sleaziest super-douche. But he's not a total badass. That ain't him. You want the nice guy? You want the pissed off guy next door? Sure, he can do those things. He can be gruff enough to pull off Kurt Russell, or assholish enough to pull off Tom Cruise at his best. He is NOT Vin Diesel. When he walks onto the screen here you don't think what a badass. You think he's cancer patient with a good tailor.
Then we get into the realm of what were they thinking in which you begin asking yourself questions like: what kind of supersecret organization puts its logo on every fu*king thing they give to their untraceable supersecret assassin? and What kind of untraceable supersecret assassin is clearly the most noticeable person in the room? and finally what kind of untraceable, supersecret assassin has a GIANT fu*kING TATTOO on the back of his skull for easy identification? Look, that bazzzzz might work in the video games, but I kept wanting to run Timothy Olyphant's skull across a Wal-Mart scanner to see if he rang up the Hitman video game or a box of Massingil from aisle seven.
And why was I asking myself all of these questions? Well, I had to do something while I was sitting there. It's not like the plot was giving me anything to think about. Gee, an assassin hired to kill the Russian President gets double crossed and is on the run trying to solve the mystery while every other assassin on the planet is out to kill him. Holy-originality Batman! I almost don't remember that plot from 10 years ago when the Wachowskis wrote it – or the two dozen other movies that did it better, smarter and long before they did. This is written to entertain your average 13 year old, but has a rating that will insure they have to pay for Enchanted first before they sneak into this.
Although if this film has one saving grace, it is that it is not only rated R, but VERY rated R. There's plenty of blood, a few halfway decent kills and a hot Russian prostitute that keeps getting butt ass naked every few minutes while trying to fu*k Timothy Olyphant. But without anything else going on, this seems to portray the very worst of the stereotypical, smutty, cheap thrills action movie.
Remember how base, simple and brainless xXx was? But remember how they pulled it off because it was over the top, funny and never for one moment took itself too seriously? Well, this felt like the emo little brother of that movie – the one that wanted so bad to be its big brother, but took itself WAY too fu*king seriously on the path to doing it. This movie never tries to be a dumb, fun action movie. It genuinely thinks it's a cool, sleek action extravaganza. Instead, it's just another retread of the ground Ecks Vs Sever covered several years ago. But at least Ecks Vs Sever looked good when you turned off the volume.
Irredeemable lazy tripe. If I didn't know better, I would have guessed that this was written DURING the WGA strike, and not long before it. If there's one good thing that will come out of the strike, it is that the guys who penned this piece of rancid garbage will have been kept away from a keyboard for at least a few weeks. Highly recommended for 13 year olds who aren't quite smart enough to figure out how to see boobies on the internet but are smart enough to sneak into a movie, and NO ONE ELSE. Really, unless shiny objects are a real passion in your life, this will rob you of a few precious brain cells too many."
Source: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/34866
All in all it's a movie I say everyone should skip, it isn't even worth a bootleg.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Time for a change?
I know that they say that change is good, and I really feel like I need to make some changes in my life. I'm 23 years old and have lived in the same room which is in the same house on the very same street for every day of my life. I'm feeling like I'm at my breaking point and I always feel so moody and I believe it has to do with the atmosphere and the fact that my life is so routine and dull. I'm not sure what kind of change or move that I'm going to make but people make moves everyday. I need a change of venue and some excitement maybe that will do me some good.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
The 9 Most Racist Disney Characters
It's a pretty good read, I've never thought about the characters in this way before but now that it's been brought to my attention I may have a change of heart. Original site: http://www.cracked.com/article_15677_9-most-racist-disney-characters.html
These old Disney movies are a little bit like your aging Uncle Frank. Honestly, he means well when he points out that Will Smith is "well-spoken." It's just that he, like the assemblage of clips below, dates from a time when people were unfairly characterized by their ethnic background (the acceptable methods are, of course, religion, geography, sexual preference and income).
#9.
The Merchant from Aladdin
The opening musical sequence from the hugely popular 1992 animated film had to be edited due to protest from Arab-American groups for saying about the Middle East what most of us were merely thinking.
Lesson Learned:
The Middle East is a barren wasteland where the justice system runs on a clear and simple limb-removal policy.
Best (Worst?) Moment:
"Where they cut off your ear if they don't like your face" is the offending line, which was changed on the DVD to the much less provocative "Where it's flat and immense and the heat is intense." Whatever. Our question: In a city full of Arabic men and women, where the hell does a midwestern-accented, white piece of cornbread like Aladdin come from? Here he is next to the more, um, ethnic looking villain, Jafar.
#8.
Sebastian from The Little Mermaid
In this 1989 film, a Jamaican-sounding crab teaches Ariel that life is better "Under the Sea," because underwater you don't have to get a job.
Lesson Learned:
Up on the shore they work all day
Out in the sun they slave away
While we devotin'
Full time to floatin'
Under the sea!
Are we reading too much into it? Do you see anything wrong with how they've drawn "the duke of soul" at 1:57?
Still too subtle? How about at 2:01 when the "blackfish" appears?
Best (Worst?) Moment:
As far as Disney movies go, you've got two choices: unforgivably offensive and just slightly racially insensitive. Sebastian definitely falls into the latter category. So while making Sebastian a charming, party-loving stereotype is a baby step forward for Disney, it's still a stumble backwards for civil rights.
#7.
The Crows from Dumbo
In this 1941 classic, Dumbo the flying elephant runs into a band of jive-talking black crows who sing, "I'd be done see'n about everything/when I see an elephant fly!"
Lesson Learned:
Come on, blackbirds acting in a manner stereotypically assigned to African-Americans isn't that offensive. At least they didn't just get some white guy to do his best "black voice." Oh, really? They did? And, they called the lead character "Jim Crow?" Um, hey, look over there! It's a convincing, logical end to this argument!
Best (Worst?) Moment:
So many too choose from. The crows are very specifically depicted as poor and uneducated. They're constantly smoking; they wear pimptastic hats; and they're experts on all things "fly," so it's really a team effort contributing to the general minstrel-show feel to the whole number. You could pretty much pause this video at any second and use it as evidence in your hate-crime lawsuit against Disney.
For its time, though, the portrayal of the crows was almost progressive. The crows band together and help Dumbo learn to fly, so they're counted among the heroes of the film. Remember, this was just a couple of years after somebody introduced a bill to outlaw lynching and congress voted it down. So, you know, you take what you can get.
#6.
King Louie from The Jungle Book
Having outgrown the crude portrayal of African-Americans as black crows, in 1967 Disney decides to portray them as monkeys instead.
Lesson Learned:
All animals in the jungle speak in proper British accents. Except, of course, for the jive-talking, gibberish-spouting monkeys. Did we mention they desperately want to become "real people?"
Best (Worst?) Moment:
Fine, so an ape singing, "I wanna be like you" might be a little subtle, in a "we own multiple copies of Catcher in the Rye" conspiracy theory kind of way. Still, considering the author of the The Jungle Book also thought up "the white man's burden", we don't think it's too much of a stretch.
#5.
The Siamese Twin Gang from Chip n' Dale Rescue Rangers
Overt racism against African-Americans was obviously intolerable by the time this Chip n' Dale series began in 1989. Overt racism against Asians, luckily, was still on the table.
Lesson Learned:
Even as criminals, Asian-Americans immigrants, represented here by a gang of cats, have become integral parts of American culture. Kidding! They own a laundromat, run an illegal, basement gambling operation and speak in horribly mangled "Engrish." It's like a designer of World War II propaganda posters accidentally quantum leaped into the body of a late '80s cartoon writer.
The video becomes cringe-worthy about six minutes in:
Best (Worst?) Moment:
The Siamese Cats sell their karate expert Juice Lee, a Japanese fighting fish, for a suitcase full of dead fish. If you can't find something offensive in that sentence, congratulations. You're a cyborg.
#4.
Sunflower the Centaur from Fantasia
Of all the items on this list, this is the one Disney has tried the hardest to make us forget.
Lesson Learned:
Even in Fantasia's beautiful, magical landscape, African centaurs are hoof-polishing handmaidens for prettier, Aryan centaurs. Also, 1940 was a great year to be a centaur fetishist and/or Don Imus.
Best (Worst?) Moment:
It was insulting enough for Disney to include the smiling servant stereotype to begin with, but, to make matters worse, they started categorically denying Sunflower's existence with the Fantasia re-release in 1960. How does that possibly make things better? "No, you misunderstand. In our perfect, Fantasia world, Africans aren't servants. They don't fu*king exist."
#3.
The Indians from Peter Pan
In this charming musical number, the "Red Man" explains his people's history and culture.
Lesson Learned:
Why do Native Americans ask you "how?" According to the song, it's because the Native American always thirsts for knowledge. OK, that's not so bad, we guess. What gives the Native Americans their distinctive coloring? The song says a long time ago, a Native American blushed red when he kissed a girl, and, as science dictates, it's been part of their race's genetic make up since. You see, there had to be some kind of event to change their skin from the normal, human color of "white."
Best (Worst?) Moment:
It's a tie between Tiger Lilly's traditional Native American hussy dance, and the number of times Native American's misogynistic tendencies are played for laughs (hint: It's more than three!)
#2.
Uncle Remus from Song of the South
The tales of Br'er Rabbit are relayed by kindly old Uncle Remus, a black man happily working on a plantation in the post-Civil War South. Disney has never released this one on home video, for some reason.
Lesson Learned:
The late 1800s were a great time to be African-American and possibly on acid.
Best (Worst?) Moment:
Less eerie than any imaginary singing birds is what's not in the film. It's as if someone made a children's musical about Jews in post-World War II Germany that had a number titled "Hey! Nothing Bad Has Happened to Us, Ever." Also failing to reach the screen: When the movie had its world premiere in 1946 in Atlanta, James Baskett, the actor who played Remus, was not allowed to attend. Zip-a-dee-doo-dah!
#1.
Thursday from Mickey Mouse and the Boy Thursday (Book)
In this forgotten Mickey Mouse book from 1948, Mickey gets a crate full of West African bananas, and finds an African inside instead! Ha!" The savage soon is confused by Mickey's human lifestyle and commits acts of random violence.
Lesson Learned:
"What's the deal with Africans? If they're not trying to eat it or throw a spear at it, they're worshiping it as a some sort of tribal deity, am I right?"
Best (Worst?) Moment:
Where to begin? The book compiles almost every offensive preconception of Africa lurking in the American subconscious.
Some choice quotes:
"Well, well." Mickey laughed ... "So I'm supposed to be your governess and nursemaid, and you can't even talk!"
"Let me see. A genuine African native," Mickey murmured. "Perhaps I should start showing him off."
Perhaps the most depressing part is that this was somebody's idea of tolerance, back in the ideallic '40s:
"Poor little guy! He just makes mistakes. He doesn't know any better. I'll just have to be patient and teach him the right way to do things," said Mickey.
These old Disney movies are a little bit like your aging Uncle Frank. Honestly, he means well when he points out that Will Smith is "well-spoken." It's just that he, like the assemblage of clips below, dates from a time when people were unfairly characterized by their ethnic background (the acceptable methods are, of course, religion, geography, sexual preference and income).
#9.
The Merchant from Aladdin
The opening musical sequence from the hugely popular 1992 animated film had to be edited due to protest from Arab-American groups for saying about the Middle East what most of us were merely thinking.
Lesson Learned:
The Middle East is a barren wasteland where the justice system runs on a clear and simple limb-removal policy.
Best (Worst?) Moment:
"Where they cut off your ear if they don't like your face" is the offending line, which was changed on the DVD to the much less provocative "Where it's flat and immense and the heat is intense." Whatever. Our question: In a city full of Arabic men and women, where the hell does a midwestern-accented, white piece of cornbread like Aladdin come from? Here he is next to the more, um, ethnic looking villain, Jafar.
#8.
Sebastian from The Little Mermaid
In this 1989 film, a Jamaican-sounding crab teaches Ariel that life is better "Under the Sea," because underwater you don't have to get a job.
Lesson Learned:
Up on the shore they work all day
Out in the sun they slave away
While we devotin'
Full time to floatin'
Under the sea!
Are we reading too much into it? Do you see anything wrong with how they've drawn "the duke of soul" at 1:57?
Still too subtle? How about at 2:01 when the "blackfish" appears?
Best (Worst?) Moment:
As far as Disney movies go, you've got two choices: unforgivably offensive and just slightly racially insensitive. Sebastian definitely falls into the latter category. So while making Sebastian a charming, party-loving stereotype is a baby step forward for Disney, it's still a stumble backwards for civil rights.
#7.
The Crows from Dumbo
In this 1941 classic, Dumbo the flying elephant runs into a band of jive-talking black crows who sing, "I'd be done see'n about everything/when I see an elephant fly!"
Lesson Learned:
Come on, blackbirds acting in a manner stereotypically assigned to African-Americans isn't that offensive. At least they didn't just get some white guy to do his best "black voice." Oh, really? They did? And, they called the lead character "Jim Crow?" Um, hey, look over there! It's a convincing, logical end to this argument!
Best (Worst?) Moment:
So many too choose from. The crows are very specifically depicted as poor and uneducated. They're constantly smoking; they wear pimptastic hats; and they're experts on all things "fly," so it's really a team effort contributing to the general minstrel-show feel to the whole number. You could pretty much pause this video at any second and use it as evidence in your hate-crime lawsuit against Disney.
For its time, though, the portrayal of the crows was almost progressive. The crows band together and help Dumbo learn to fly, so they're counted among the heroes of the film. Remember, this was just a couple of years after somebody introduced a bill to outlaw lynching and congress voted it down. So, you know, you take what you can get.
#6.
King Louie from The Jungle Book
Having outgrown the crude portrayal of African-Americans as black crows, in 1967 Disney decides to portray them as monkeys instead.
Lesson Learned:
All animals in the jungle speak in proper British accents. Except, of course, for the jive-talking, gibberish-spouting monkeys. Did we mention they desperately want to become "real people?"
Best (Worst?) Moment:
Fine, so an ape singing, "I wanna be like you" might be a little subtle, in a "we own multiple copies of Catcher in the Rye" conspiracy theory kind of way. Still, considering the author of the The Jungle Book also thought up "the white man's burden", we don't think it's too much of a stretch.
#5.
The Siamese Twin Gang from Chip n' Dale Rescue Rangers
Overt racism against African-Americans was obviously intolerable by the time this Chip n' Dale series began in 1989. Overt racism against Asians, luckily, was still on the table.
Lesson Learned:
Even as criminals, Asian-Americans immigrants, represented here by a gang of cats, have become integral parts of American culture. Kidding! They own a laundromat, run an illegal, basement gambling operation and speak in horribly mangled "Engrish." It's like a designer of World War II propaganda posters accidentally quantum leaped into the body of a late '80s cartoon writer.
The video becomes cringe-worthy about six minutes in:
Best (Worst?) Moment:
The Siamese Cats sell their karate expert Juice Lee, a Japanese fighting fish, for a suitcase full of dead fish. If you can't find something offensive in that sentence, congratulations. You're a cyborg.
#4.
Sunflower the Centaur from Fantasia
Of all the items on this list, this is the one Disney has tried the hardest to make us forget.
Lesson Learned:
Even in Fantasia's beautiful, magical landscape, African centaurs are hoof-polishing handmaidens for prettier, Aryan centaurs. Also, 1940 was a great year to be a centaur fetishist and/or Don Imus.
Best (Worst?) Moment:
It was insulting enough for Disney to include the smiling servant stereotype to begin with, but, to make matters worse, they started categorically denying Sunflower's existence with the Fantasia re-release in 1960. How does that possibly make things better? "No, you misunderstand. In our perfect, Fantasia world, Africans aren't servants. They don't fu*king exist."
#3.
The Indians from Peter Pan
In this charming musical number, the "Red Man" explains his people's history and culture.
Lesson Learned:
Why do Native Americans ask you "how?" According to the song, it's because the Native American always thirsts for knowledge. OK, that's not so bad, we guess. What gives the Native Americans their distinctive coloring? The song says a long time ago, a Native American blushed red when he kissed a girl, and, as science dictates, it's been part of their race's genetic make up since. You see, there had to be some kind of event to change their skin from the normal, human color of "white."
Best (Worst?) Moment:
It's a tie between Tiger Lilly's traditional Native American hussy dance, and the number of times Native American's misogynistic tendencies are played for laughs (hint: It's more than three!)
#2.
Uncle Remus from Song of the South
The tales of Br'er Rabbit are relayed by kindly old Uncle Remus, a black man happily working on a plantation in the post-Civil War South. Disney has never released this one on home video, for some reason.
Lesson Learned:
The late 1800s were a great time to be African-American and possibly on acid.
Best (Worst?) Moment:
Less eerie than any imaginary singing birds is what's not in the film. It's as if someone made a children's musical about Jews in post-World War II Germany that had a number titled "Hey! Nothing Bad Has Happened to Us, Ever." Also failing to reach the screen: When the movie had its world premiere in 1946 in Atlanta, James Baskett, the actor who played Remus, was not allowed to attend. Zip-a-dee-doo-dah!
#1.
Thursday from Mickey Mouse and the Boy Thursday (Book)
In this forgotten Mickey Mouse book from 1948, Mickey gets a crate full of West African bananas, and finds an African inside instead! Ha!" The savage soon is confused by Mickey's human lifestyle and commits acts of random violence.
Lesson Learned:
"What's the deal with Africans? If they're not trying to eat it or throw a spear at it, they're worshiping it as a some sort of tribal deity, am I right?"
Best (Worst?) Moment:
Where to begin? The book compiles almost every offensive preconception of Africa lurking in the American subconscious.
Some choice quotes:
"Well, well." Mickey laughed ... "So I'm supposed to be your governess and nursemaid, and you can't even talk!"
"Let me see. A genuine African native," Mickey murmured. "Perhaps I should start showing him off."
Perhaps the most depressing part is that this was somebody's idea of tolerance, back in the ideallic '40s:
"Poor little guy! He just makes mistakes. He doesn't know any better. I'll just have to be patient and teach him the right way to do things," said Mickey.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Another new site
Being a new unknown author is hard work. It's even harder getting your name out there so in addition to this blog and my official site, I've created a site on published authors. That can be found at http://www.publishedauthors.net/ddillard. The site was just created today 11/18/07 so there isn't much there at the moment, but I hope to keep it as up to date as this blog and my other site, http://www.freewebs.com/demetriusdillard.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
Friday, November 16, 2007
My new title
So I had a lot of free time on my hands today and decided to put in a little work on my Lunal City epic. I've gotten the first 2 parts of the trilogy well under way and complete for the most part. Instead of jumping right in to part 3, I decided to do a spin off tail just to expand the universe. I think I have a lot of possibilites and scenarios I can run with the world that I created. I just hope the public gets a chance to get caught up in my epic sci fi adventure. Keep checking back for more information and updates and as always my official site is http//www.freewebs.com/demetriusdillard.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Barry Bonds indicted on perjury, obstruction charges
But honestly is anyone going to be surprised by this news? It's pretty clear that Bonds cheated and used steroids and the general public realizes this. His image is already pretty shaky and he's not the most beloved sports figure. I'm surprised that it didn't happen sooner. I'm not a big fan or follower of baseball but I believe that if he is convicted, then all of his accomplishments should be written out of the record books. Anyone who breaks the rules could achieve what he did, this just further solidifies Henry Aaron as the all time home run leader, for the simple fact that he did it the right way.
Mobile blog
------Original Message------
To: go@Blogger.com
Sent: Nov 15, 2007 4:51 PM
Subject: Mobile blog
To: go@Blogger.com
Sent: Nov 15, 2007 4:51 PM
Subject: Mobile blog
Just decided to give blogging a try and since I'm always on my blackberry, I decided to give mobile blogging a try also. I hope that I can keep this blog going and updated often as I also have to keep my personal website going. Its under construction at the moment but it can be found at http://www.freewebs.com/demetriusdillard.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)